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Why wedding albums suck

As many brides report their big day speeding by in a blur, let’s not leave it to our memories.

You could be a first time bride meticulously planning the wedding of your dreams, or found love the fourth time around and glad he’s put a ring on it; guaranteed the one thing you’ll both have in common…is your desire to properly capture your wedding.

All wedding plans have been affected by Covid-19 and you may have been planning anything from a glitz affair for 200 guests or a simple yet intimate soiree for loved ones in a Sicilian vineyard, either way after the cake is consumed and the dance floor packed away, all that is left are your memories, and your video, and… that dreaded album.

So yes, we said that traditional wedding albums suck…and here’s why...

1) They’re big and bulky

Subsequently it will stay prettily wrapped up in that hefty box in the corner of the attic, to be hauled out once a year on your anniversary…before the effort becomes too great (approximately around year three, give or take…).

2) Photographers are snobs

Which means that not only do they own your pictures (read your contract’s small print) only their pictures are allowed to grace YOUR wedding album! Only use Apple’s official charger, stay out of the cycle lane – we’re surrounded by rules in this Big Brother society, and this is just one of them!

3) Your album stops at the first dance…no party!

As standard, photographers usually leg it after the first dance, just when it really starts to get interesting. What about the new father-in-law’s dad dancing to Drake’s Controller at 2am? Missed. But then again, some things are better off forgotten…

4) They only contain less than 10% of your stunning wedding images

So that arty head to chin closeup a la Kim & Kanye style that you and hubby recreated is doomed to languish on a CD Rom that will probably be obsolete in a few years, more on doomed technology in point 10.

5) Sometimes you just won’t look good, sorry...

Your beau unused to selfie life and cringes instead of seduces the camera? You’ve been at the mimosas and sporting a slightly sozzled grin with one eye smaller than the other for some reason? We can help you correct it. We have a team of post-production experts and Photoshop whizz-kids, dedicated to helping you present your very best version of you.Traditional albums employ a ‘take me as I am’ approach, which whilst great in theory, disregards the fact that we all sometimes need a little help from our friends.

6) You only get one album, ONE!

What about fire, flood, natural disasters? In this day and age where everything is disposable, it’s quite outrageous that after spending all of that money, you only get one copy. Shame! SHAME!!!!

7) They don’t feature your guests

We know a wedding is all about you (both) but is it though? In 10, 20 years time, part of the charm of looking back at your love story is seeing all the minor characters in their fashion time-stamped glory. Most photographers neglect to “feature” guests just for that exact reason – couples may break up, friendships move on, but irrespective of this, your wedding day occurred at a moment in time that can never be recreated, and your loved ones (albeit worse for wear, bless them) were a large part of it, so they shouldn’t be omitted.

8) Your love story is so much more than one day

Yes the wedding was a very full and busy day, but let’s not discount 12+ months of planning in addition to a hard-earned honeymoon, which has no place in a traditional album. This means that not unlike Thanos clicking his fingers to decimate 50% of the Universe, ultimately a lot of your pre/post wedding experience is literally obliterated.

9) Special touches? What special touches?!?!

Apparently it’s not all in the detail, those 200 handcrafted mason jars you sourced from that Moldovian Etsy seller hand-stuffed with those personalised, sustainable eco sweets will unfortunately be just a distant memory as these are not the features that will be selected for those (limited) coveted spots in your album. These will be relegated to family tales about how you stayed up til unmentionable o’clock to bid on an auction lot as the seller was six hours behind in the States. The things you do for love (and guest approval)! If you’ve paid for it, it shouldn’t have to be forgotten.

10) Finally… If you’ve not even printed them out in an album, you’re even more doomed.

Many photos taken seven years ago are stored on media no longer supported – think floppy disks, CD Roms or something that’s currently on its way out – da Da DAAAA!!! USB sticks (remember those?) Who even has a disk drive anymore? Don’t think that your memories are safe on the cloud either – a future article on that coming up soon.

Don’t worry however, we have the glorious antidote to all of these wedding capture woes. Stay tuned!


The Wedding Capture Coach

Helping you to get the most out of your big daze

For the full countdown check the above video out.

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